What to do

Ok week for training, I am feeling better and getting back into the swing of things.

Thursday Upperbody
Push Presses out of rack
200 x 2 x 2
210 x 2
Down set
135 x 10

My press sucks right now, this is just pathetic.

Incline Press
135 x 5
155 x 3
175 x 3
185 x 1
195 x 1
205 x 1

I am weak pussy right now

Mid Grip bench
5 x 10

Dips supersetted with band extensions
5 and 15 for 3 sets

forearms
3 x 30

Friday lower body
Power Cleans
185 x 1 x 3
205 x 1 x 3
215 x 1 x 3

Squats
230 x 10

KB high swings
2 x 5

abs
2 x 20

I came up with the crazy idea of trying to make 190lbs, but really I am starting to wonder what the fuck am I thinking. It would be a great goal, but I will look very small at this weight, the only reason I wanna do it is for a highland games and be able to qualify for the 190lb nationals. But honestly I am a strongman and a powerlifter, I like the highland games alot and will be doing more of them but is it really worth the sacrifice of losing strength? I gotta make a decision and do it soon.

Jesse