I have to ramble.......

I have been in a funk the past couple of weeks. I started my goal of losing weight, which automatically puts me in a somewhat shitty mood half the time. Then I fucked up my knee, which really puts me in a shitty mood. And now I am really wondering what the fuck I should really do. I am down to 230-231 and feel really good, part of me thinks I should just stay where I am at and really work on getting strong as hell at this weight. The other part of me says "Stick to your goal and keep losing". Then there could be a reality of my knee is fucked and I will be on the sidelines from competing for a little while. I don't know what to do, I know I need to do whatever makes me happy, but unfortunately I don't know what is gonna make me happy right now. I am sure some people will read this and not understand what is going on, some will read it and think I am stupid, others will exactly what I am going through. The other conundrum I have been having is trying to decide what sport I want to concentrate on the most. I love strongman and I love highland games, but I find it is rather hard to concentrate on both. At least for me it is, I am not a natural athlete and in order to be good at something I have to really concentrate on it. I have been very competitive at the 200# class, but I have my weaknesses also in that class. My overhead for the most part has always been complete crap when I am this light. When I get back up to 231 my overhead has been at least decent with a personal best in competition of 270lbs on the axle. But I also have my strengths. One thing I know is if I do get back down to the 200's I want to be very close to 200 and not have to cut much weight. Cutting weight sucks and is not fun at all. Who knows what I am gonna do, my mind is always going in different directions. I really hate to be one of those people that makes a decision and then changes their mind. It seems that is what I am doing, if only all lifes decisions could be easy....... Jesse